Where thoughts matter

There no right or wrong.

2011-12-12T22:37:00.002+08:00

Few weeks ago, chicken boy told me he argued with his teacher. And actually I was inspired by his arguement.

Let me share with you readers how this point works in business world.

Chicken boy challenge the teacher by asking her, "Will you kill your neighbour if you found out he wants to kill your mum"?

Let me get straight to the point on how it applies to business world instead of letting you know how my brother's arguement reaches this point.

The world we live in its simple. Its a dog eat dog situation. The rich getting richer and the poor only die tryin. If you want to be rich, there is only one rule. Which is to break the rules!

The law does not benefit the mass. That's one thing for sure. One of the well known speaker, Robert Kuyosaki said the 10% of population controls 90% of the wealth.

But why these rich people didnt get caught if they break the law? the answer is simple, know how to cover up. Its just that simple. But it requires a lot of thinking to twist and turn to come out with a nice presentation. When you reaches this stage, no doubt people will hate you. But your ratio of friends wouldnt change. Lets say your ratio of friend is 100:5. For every 100 friends, you have 5 hater. So as your business partner grow, the more hater you will get.

But how does it relate to my brothers point? I ask one of the business man this question. "Will you kill your neighbour if you found out he wants to kill your mum"? And he hesitate while he answer me. His answer was not convincing and doubtful. He said he will kill his neighbour, but as soon I reminded him that he's going to prison by doing so, he retracted his answer.

See, the law stated killing someone is consider murder. If your neighbour kills your mum, there is no guarantee that the police will catch him. And if you kill your neighbour, the police will arrest you for murdering.

Let me tell you a cruel answer. As a business person, you should kill the neighbour. Its a blunt truth but this is what you got to do to protect your loved ones. Then you cover up your murder. That simple. Thats how to rich getting richer. They eliminate the ones that comes in their way and cover up. Rich men can be sue, but never be jail.

See where my point going?

Common sense vs Scientific

2011-11-23T23:36:00.003+08:00

While I talking to dickhead, this is exactly what happened. We heard a loud sound that sounded almost like a bomb exploded in the sky.

Obviously, I call it tunder. And I have no clue on what will happen. All I keep on saying is, Walaueh, bloddy tunder damn loud!

Then dickhead said, we will experience a heavy rain tonight.

I looked at him and asked, Its already raining now, by the time it reaches night, no more rain already right?

And dickhead explained as he walked away, When there are a loud sound heard from the sky, it means there are two big clouds collide. And when they collide, the water accumulated on the cloud will pour down which resulted heavy rain.

Slowly but surely, it rain really heavy during that night. Really heavy.

I hate reading books.

2011-10-30T01:33:00.006+08:00

I remember I could hardly complete a series of LadyBird book series during my childhood time. I just hate it. And it has developed into an habit where I hate reading. That is why I don't excel in my academic. My goals are simple. Pass without handing up my assignment. See, to pass a subject is easy. To pass a subject without handing up your assignment is just like a bet. Its exciting. Its challenging. And worst come to worst if the management ever find out, I will hand it my assignment. (IF they found out la).

I never shown any interest in staying up in a bookstore browsing through their wonderful archive. I noticed, there is a best selling corner, top stories corner and etc. All these stuff will never win my interest.

I'm a bit worried sometimes. Reading actually is good. It serves as a 'food' to our brain. Imagine if your body stops eating, obviously you health will deteriorate. Same applies to our brain. We have to constantly feed it with knowledge and information. Like I said, I used to worried, how will my children respond if they found out their own dad does not read book and expect them to score well? or worst, no girls will even like me once they found out my habit.

But then again, my worried ease when I found out my interest. It may sounds contradicting with my point but seriously, its not. I cant deny the fact that I HATE READING ANY BOOKS, but I'm avid for the latest information on the Internet or magazine. Anything that are printed and labeled as 'books', I hate them. But newsletter, newspaper, magazine, Internet are so awesome. In other words, I like reading as long it doesnt come in book form.

Its normal to hear this when you bumped into an old friend on the street saying,:

"ahh, study so much for what? no point also."

I'm not trying to be exclusive. But seriously, it makes a huge difference. The quality of the conversation you having with those without qualifications are just rubbish, most of the time. Imagine the assignment WE done, the due date WE experience, the final test where WE all fear, this are all trial that shapes us into a better person. And out of a sudden, someone tells you that there is no point gaining all that experience. What a joke.

The reason why I like reading news is simple. It makes me feel like I'm updated. And I read it from several sources. Therefore, I can create a healthy judgement. And able to think with my both brains. 'People' like to read what they like and say what they feel like saying. Therefore, any judgement will be bias if one would have heard from these kind of 'people'.

Especially males, we must read as must as possible to increase our knowlegde. Who knows in the future, your wife could be representing school for debating when she was young! So yeah, just in case. :P

I hate reading books, the design, the fonts are printed and basically everything about it as long as one labelled it as a book!

Happy Birthday to me

2011-10-27T22:13:00.002+08:00

25th of October. As a friend of mine, You'll realize its my birthday.

Its my pleasure that my close buddies throw a celebration for me in Bangsar Shopping Complex. But on the way there, I notice several stuff.

This is me, and I'm observent. Very. For each shopping mall I visited, I will peep around to make sure which angle have installed CCTV. If they do installed, how many. And I'm a very careful person as well. Maybe I'm inspired by some spy action movie. I usually arrive at one floor above where I live or 1 floor below. Therefore, No one could trace my living place. Something like that.

So among close buddies, I dont know what to say anymore rather than disappointment. Its never about the party. Its never about the gift. But its about the quality moment. This is the weakness of us human. We take things for granted. And we only start appreciates when its gone. I think mostly for now, our hang out session are basically bored. Perhaps this 'stage' is normal?

Or maybe friends are like our 'product' ? Like one of the lesson we learned in marketing about the 'product life cycle' could be apply to our friends? The cycle stage are followed by introduction, growth, maturity and declining. Then the cycle will probably repeat itself. I believe someone must take the effort.

So, my friends picked me up from my place. And trust me, We spoke quite less inside the car. Its not healthy compare to those days we could talk about anything with anyone. But right now, Even there are three person within a vehicle, a person will still left out. I mean two person can carry on a conversation while abandoning the other. This is terrible.

Am I sensitive? Or my friends has changed without even they realising it? I cant remember much of the conversation I had during my birthday dinner. I remember i mentioned about the silly video clip, and they talked about the unfortunate guy, Marco Simoncelli that crashed his bike in MotoGP, and what else? I cant remember. Sorry.

As I mentioned earlier on, its never about the gift, about the food, about the place or anything. I dont ask for anything, but all I want is just a quality time together where everyone get to talk, share their stories, and everybody listening to it and giving feedbacks. I prefer respond from the rest and I prefer them to participate.

I would rather organize a birthday event rather than being the birthday boy. I give out my best in seeking quality moments for my friends, I give them something special, I use my brain and think what they would like. This is what I call caring. I dont mind giving rather than receiving with a sorrow heart. The art of giving is so beautiful. Its never enough. There are so many needy person in this world. Just when you thought u helped someone, theres another person crying out for help in another corner. That is why, I love to bless others. Sigh.

I'm not ungrateful for the effort they poured in oganizing it. I'm thankful for their willingness to throw such an awesome dinner but I believe it could have be better if everyone just talk to everyone. Literally!

I'm 22 yeras old this year. And the age number of 22 will never change no matter how you relocate it. My birthday wishes are simple for this year.

I wish my family will prosper and our bond will strengthens in years to come.
I wish my close friends will remain as close friends in the future.
I wish all of my friends are able to find the right soulmate in time to come.

Specially thanks to Andy, Jimmy, Danial, Seh Ming and Joy for coming for my birthday dinner.

Stage 1 vs Stage 2 = same results

2011-10-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

Mum is very weird. When we have cash on hand, she would encourage us to use it on treatment as much as we can because we should take care of our body.

Mum is very weird. When she realize we have no cash, she would yell. Nag about all the spending we made. And basically everything.

I often involve two arguements with her. The first stage was, me and her would quarrel over the spending on treatment.

The second stage was......

She says, I says.

2011-08-27T21:07:00.003+08:00

Imagine me and my wife visiting a car exibition gallery somewhere in the future...

Wife: Hey, dont waste your money on buying cars anymore. Its not like we dont have enough cars.

Me: Calm down. Its not neccessary for us to buy for taking a look right?

Wife: Oh yeah, the why do you come here then? Looking at all those sexy stunning models?

Me: What are you talking about? All I can see within this exibition hall are sexy cars and only one pretty lady. And I think she's talking to me now.

Let me explain. (The truth and The lies)

2011-08-18T15:19:00.009+08:00

On the 17th of August (wednesday), something unfortunate occurred to me at around local time 1:30pm.

While I was driving, I noticed that the temperature is rising as the needle slowly moving right towards the "H". I wondered, what could have happen if the needle reaches "H".

To be honest with you, I drove back to my kampung with my SLK (Sang little Kancil) few weeks back. And I kid you not, the temperature literally reaches the "H". And I swear that it stays on there for almost 30 second while I was driving. And I prayed so hard. For some reason, I think only God knows why the car didn't explode or whatsoever.

So, Yesterday the same thing situation appeared before me again. And, honestly I have a bad feeling about this. Therefore, immediately after the traffic junction, I move my car swiftly to the left and stop at the bus stop. All I can hear is some 'boiling' sound. The boiling sound is very similar to the claypot sound. It could be dry up, or the water is boiling.

I opened up the car bonnet, and look at the radiator water tank. What I saw is the cap of the tank is moving. I dont know why my consciousness never tell me that it's boiling. But rather, I thought its drying up. So I opened up the cap with the intention of knowing what's happening inside.

Before I could even fully open the cap (Half way the process of opening), next thing i know is, Those hot water burst out like a volcano and splash it to my whole face and my left arm. It happened so fast. And the water that bursting out is very very very hot. I think it's higher than 100 °C. Which means the water splashing on my face is higher than a normal water boiling point. Its so hot.

I was with my eldest brother at that moment. He watches the whole thing happen. And still can ask me what to do. Fucking dickhead. On that afternoon, I fetched him, and at that moment when the incident occurred, we are on our way to fetch my another brother, Andy. My eldest brother just fucking absolutely dont know how to find solution although his academic results are always top. The thing I want to point of is, a top scorer can only score well in books, but not in real life most of the time. At that moment, All I needed was solution. And that fucking dickhead can ask me what to do without offering any solution.

My face is burning. As well as my hand. But I told my brother is okay. I waited for almost 5 minutes to see what could happen. And the burning sensation is getting stronger. I knew something isnt right. I called my friend, Izzat. And thank GOD he's at home. Immediately he attended to me and I request him to take me to the hospital. Screw clinic. Screw 'smart' advice. This is my body. And I strive for the best for my body. Dont care about the money.

Was admitted to the DEMC hospital. My whole body was shivering and their service is fucking slow. Honestly, There are only two reasons that could convince me why they are performing slow that day. First, They are fasting, Second, It's a public holiday. Oh yeah, right before I request my friend to the hospital, I even asked my friend whether the hospital is open because its a public holiday. It's proven, although I'm suffering like hell, but my sense of humor never fails. I'm just saying.

They apply dont know what kind of gel on my face and my hand to ease the burning sensation. And they wrapped my face like a mummy. While I was lying on the bed, my friend took care of all my registration. Really thank him so much! To cut the story short, they advise me to stay in the hospital for further observation. But too bad, DEMC wasnt the panel hospital that my insurance provided. So my friend requested me to transfer to Sunway Medical Centre. The doctor issued a letter. And discharged me which cost me almost RM100. For some cotton, gel and wrapping. Nice.

Now, arriving in Sunway Medical Centre, cut the whole story short, the doctor said it is unnecessary to be admitted because the burn only damages my first layer of skin. Which I'm quite lucky. But I have to come back for observation of the skin recovering process. Which schedule on this coming Saturday. Oh yea, I arrived in Sunway Medical Centre in a mummy look, they unwrap it because the doctor needs to see it. they dispose the wrapping, and gave me a new one. This time round, its only my left arm. Regarding the face, the advice me it is unnecessary to keep in me in mummy stage but asked me not to exposed to sun light. Okay. They wrapped my hand. And shortly after that, I got discharged again. And this time, the bill cost me almost RM190. Totaling up almost RM300.

Now Insurance really played a part in my role. I managed to experienced how a patient felt during that 'emergency' period. At that moment, all I want was the best treatment. So purchase your insurance! If you do not have one, please do not hesitate to call me as I'm a financial planner and do provide medical card.

That is the truth.

Now, immediately once i returned home, I asked my brother not to disclose what exactly happened to me. Just tell them a simple story and let the moment pass. Because the world works like this. When they heard something happen to someone else, it's either they are curious to how it happen rather than what happen to you. And most of the time they act like they're your big time guardian telling you that you shouldnt do this and that. I already suffered enough. So please, Keep all that advise to yourself. I dont need it. I lost a dad and I believe I've made so many key decision while you're still enjoying life. I'm sorry if you fell into this group. The mumbling group. Its the same bloody thing when i called my mum, all she did is asking me why I'm so 'smart'. I slammed down the phone. As I mentioned on my earlier post, I'm looking for solution. I dont need someone to remind me how serious is the problem was. All i know is, if someone doenst offer me a solution, the consequances might have been more worst!

That is why I created a 'lie' version of how it happened too. Its like politics. News are being manipulated to make them feel good and to avoid to public MUMBLE so much. In order to muzzle their mouth, media are being manipulated. I felt sad for people to believe what it is printed on the paper. Back to the point, therefore, I created a 'lie' version on how it happened to muzzle their mouth.

After all, if you're wise enough, you know who to express your problem too. And God is gracious enough to allow few people confronted me with solutions. They asked me what happened. And immediately they prayed and felt sorry for me. At least, they recommanded me some solutions. Rather than people telling me all those nonsense.

Obviously my mum is quite worried, because I had experienced some burning issue while I was small. I jumped inside the hot water while my mum was away. Imagine the hot water just came out from that bloody hot kettle. Too smart, resulting I was in the hospital for almost two months. And it's a miracle it didnt leave scars on any part on my body. Now haters, are you gonna comment on that too? Saying why I didnt use my brain to think? Maybe through that, my skin layer is thicker to sustain this time incident.

You cant imagine how much painful time my mum has been through. People start condemning her and like what I said earlier, acting fucking smart. On one side, my mum is sad enough, yet all these verbal attacks does not help her in anyway. That's the world we're living in. Smart people listen more, and analyze the situation.

So the next time if you realize the story I told you isnt the same as what I labelled as the truth in this blog, that simply means, I want you to shut up.

On my mind

2011-07-24T01:53:00.002+08:00

Maybe you're the reason why I couldnt sleep.
You're stuck in my mind ever since I've started listening to this new song

You make my heartbeat even faster after we talked
How I wish you were right here in my arms for now to feel how my heart felt
I hope you know how I feel. And I hope you feel the same way too.

Dont tell me how to be a dad.

2011-06-25T01:05:00.003+08:00

I dislike it when some parents telling you how to live your life or telling you how to raise you kids. All these are nonsense and rubbish. And the worst thing is, they really stressing out their method on raising up their kids.

Maybe I'm young, but what do you know about raising up kids at my level?

I'm not married yet. I dont have a kids. But I have a younger brother. I do treat him like my son. I gave him everything I could. I even starting an education fund for him. The best gift a parents can give their children is education. But then again, what do I know about parenting?

Last month, my brother attended church camp for 4 days 3 nights. Our house was so quiet. I wanted to call him. Thinking to ask how was the food over there, the blanket, the condition and yada yada. Then I realize, when I attended church camp few years back, I wanted to relax. I wasnt hoping mum to call me up to check on my situation. Its annoying. But some parents, they did call up concerning about the food, the accommodation, the people you sleep with, and the list of worries goes on. I didnt make any calls to my brother. Because I simply know, this is the time for him to mix with new people. And I shall not interrupt it. But then again, what do I know about parenting?

Every exam season, I will offer a special 'incentive' for if he scores good grades. The 'incentive' are simple. The more A's you get, the more lucrative the incentive will be. The incentive made must be agree by both parties. In this case, me as the offeror, he as the offeree. And there must be an acceptance. Let me tell you the reason why I do in a a 'negotiation' way instead of the " okay, you get 10 A's, I give you RM200". No. My incentives are negotiable because it will arise from his attention and interest in such way. He will be accountable for what he has said and if he didnt achieve it, at least you know, the 'incentive' could be consider void. So far, Andy has been a good boy and showing good results. But then again, what do I know about parenting?

:)

2011-06-19T15:29:00.004+08:00

Happy fathers day, dad.

A new family were born.

2011-06-15T00:26:00.003+08:00

Its amazing how both of us that came from a broken family have found our manager. We assure that we will never disappoint him. Gambateh everyone.

Medical report

2011-06-04T16:39:00.014+08:00

Thursday, I decided to collect my medical report. And I couldn't sleep well before the day due to great anxiety. It's exactly the same thing when the day before I went for medical check up as I had trouble sleeping too!

I waited quite some time, until the my name was called. I'm good in creating conversation with stranger. Its a skill I think I inherited from my dad, or self learned. I look at my file, and i saw the doctor's name. As soon as I walked through the door, I greeted her with her name, and she was quite surprise that I know her name thinking that I'm her ex-patient or whatsoever.

From there onwards, the situation werent so tense. I hated much where situation where you dont know each other. I always seek for a relationship from the other party. Therefore, Not only I'll be your patient, but also your friend. :)

This is how the situation like.

Doctor: Your medical results proven that your health are in good state. However....

Me: Tell me the worst, I'm prepared.

Doctor: Your BMI (body mass index) is a bit off the scale. Your fat level is high. Therefore, You should watch your diet.

Me: I knew it, cause I quit exercising.

Doctor: I see, oh yea, the worst is yet to come.

Me: I'm listening.

Doctor: According to the report, there are no readings for xxx and aaa.

Me: No reading? meaning is good or bad?

Doctor: Normally, the reading should fall within a level of between a number. If it exceeded, means bad. If lesser, means bad too. The best is fall within the means.

Me: So what do mean by no readings?

Doctor: I'm afraid this is where your cells are having evolution process and might turn you into something dangerous. Like a mutant. Do you watch X-men?

Me: Yup. Holy shit if this is real. How can I prevent it?

Doctor: Dont worry my friend, I will give you two injection. A and C. But do you have money to pay?

Me: Yes. Just do what is necessary to cure it. (see how realistic the world is)

Doctor: Ahh. We will do whatever it takes to save you my friend. (cause I said I have money?) So, Injection A is for stopping your cell from evolution. So this is very important. While Injection C is for your body immune system. In case you're in contact with person with such virus, then you will not be affected. You will need 3 doses. So come back for the other two.

Me: Okay. Just do what it takes. Even there is a need for me to be hospitalize, I will, cause health is my concern. And I have insurance. So forget about the money concern.

*All medical check ups are not applicable to claim from your insurance company unless the individual has been requested from the company or with company permission to do /act so.

I received two injection from the medical labs that afternoon. And my left hand felt weird. All I need to do now is to exercise. Sigh.

EXERCISE!

:)

2011-06-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Saw a girl adjusting her hair while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I wish I could walk down from my car and tell her that shes beautiful.

Anxious.

2011-05-30T01:29:00.003+08:00

It irritates me when I look at myself at the mirror. I'm thankful the way I look. I'm talking about the style of my diet resulting unwanted extra fat layers appear in my body. It annoys me when even the comments made by my mum. For each time I getting topless walking around my house, my mum will keep mention my stomach belly. And until today, she told my grandma while we were having lunch with her this afternoon. Grandma is healthy and cute. I love her. And I salute her.

I used to be buff. Like a buffalo. Get it? If I tackle someone, the pain I felt is much lesser compare to the other person. But, Its totally a different way right now. Okay la. Not so terrible. But my physical strength has decrease. That is one thing for sure.

I'm kind of anxious from the recent observation of my health condition. Very. Basically, I'm grasping for air for a short sprint. I'm so weak. I never felt this way before.

I promise, Now, I will start shaping up my body back. :)

Say Yes to problems!

2011-05-26T00:12:00.004+08:00

Just this evening, I have an appointment with my friend. Manage to close a deal with her. Was so excited and happy about it. Went with dinner with my close buddies later.

While having dinner, She (the friend that bought insurance from me) request me to hold on and dont summit her case yet. Because her dad told her that her uncle have difficulties in making claims.

Sadly, in insurance industry, when such unfortunate event occur, theres only two thing we can concur. First, The agent never explain all the fine details to the customer, or there is a fraud.

Cut the whole story short, I felt a little bit of disappointment but I felt even more happy and excited after that. Because I will have a chance to approach his uncle (the one that accused being cheated) and study the case! I have something to LEARN!!!

Who doesnt hate problems? but problems and mistake are the ones that made us learn! So when a problem arise, it depending on how an individual views it. And that view determine that person's growth. If one view it as troublesome, then forever one will never grow. That is why I said, 改变会带来成长 (Changes will bring growth), 不是成长会带来改. (Not growth will bring changes).

Someone new

2011-05-24T20:59:00.003+08:00

Each time you and your loved ones having a dispute, it allows you the chances to introduce yourself as someone new. That's how the relationship will grow. :)

Crowning!

2011-05-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

It was this afternoon, I paid my second visit to my dentist. Dr Kumar. He is a very nice christian guy. The moment I stepped into the surgical room, I felt the 'peace'.(shalom) around it. It is because, the background will filled with soft christian music.

I complained about every single dental discomfort I felt and he will just laugh and explain to me what are the process to fix it. Pretty awesome. And through him, I'll be able to learn a few things.

I think one year ago, whereby one of my tooth is decaying. And he given me two choices, A to pull out the teeth which cost RM80, or we do crowning which cost RM1200. So, being a typical snobbish person, I opt for the RM1200. I always have the concept where I dont care about money cause I know I will find a way to earn it. And if the money is invested in me, I shall not even think about saving it! I felt ashamed of people trying to save cost like eating less or you know what I mean la. Its pathetic. Our body is like a machine. If you treat it good, then the production will be wonderful.

Back to my point, it could me a bomb when i thought of it. RM1200. My mum hates my 'this' attitude. Where I always do first and think later. I'm almost like my dad. Almost. But as usual, she didnt contribute but yet she grumble. But oh well, every mums does the same thing. :)

There are three process needed to complete for the final crowning stage. First, root canal, Second, post crowning and lastly, Crowning. By now, I waiting for the final stage to get my 'artificial teeth' fixed. I have an 'artificial teeth'! I can bite anything I want from now on with that only teeth. But again, I kid.

Lets hope I can really get it done next week, and I can really really really dont have to worry anything about dental issue.. :)

Food taste deliciously good when you're hungry

2011-05-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

It doesnt matter what type eat, or where you eat. For as long as when one is really really hungry, almost every food taste deliciously good. Agree? no? never mind.

The truth is, I wanted to relate this point to one of my life experience. But somehow, the idea slipped right out from my mind. So I guess it's the reader's lost. :P

Immature conversation

2011-05-22T20:15:00.003+08:00

These are certain conversation that I identified them as immature and stupid that it makes me wants to shut up instantly without even bother to carry on conversation with such person. I bet, these are several answers that you personally heard by yourself or it could be our self that answer that way.

Example: Conversation A

Friend: Where have you been?

Me: Owh, I just came back from Mid Valley.

Friend: Owhhh! tak ajak!

*Effing stupid.

Example: Conversation B

Me: Want to go eat at kopitiam?

Friend: wa...you rich people of course can afford la.

*Effing stupid.

These are the top two immature conversation I rated.

Seriously, Be a little bit creative in engaging conversation with people because it is the only way for you to market yourself.

Arising Celebrities

2011-05-20T23:42:00.007+08:00

The atmosphere is never the same whenever there are gathering among my mum's side family. Everyone is realistic cause maybe they're all successful.

The recent topic was about one of my cousin, Nadia Lim participated in MasterChef in New Zealand and it appeared that she had won. She's the champion for the second season MasterChef New Zealand.

Congratulations Nadia, I'm sure its never easy to fight for the champion title, but all your effort paid off and the 'Lim' family have another success story to add in.

I did tweeted regarding her winning, and my friend said something I never thought of it, He said: "she's a celebrity now". It got me thinking on, actually, it is. I'm living among the celebrities! It the culture of the "lim' family pursuing success in their life.

When is my turn? I asked myself. There will be a day. And I'm just got to work towards it. It's totally a different level of world when meeting up with them. They dont talk about the problems of business. But more like the challenges of business. And always talking about expansion, increase, take over.

I asked my uncle naively, how much do you earn? with your current car assets worth 3 million? He told me gently since I'm his nephew. The amount he's earning monthly is equals to twice the amount of the annual income of a bank manager. While we thought our EPF contributions is damn a lot like RM300 or whatsoever, These rich people are paying at least like 10k? just for EPF?

I know I'm naive for asking such question, and bringing up this topic, trust me If I have someone to share to, I wouldnt have put it up in this blog. So, got to dream big, if you're living in the 'Lim' family.

Perhaps I should be more selfish? Selfish=Self care. People with self care are closer to their dream. Because they protect and fight for their dream and dont care everything that comes along.

Sigh. Why. Why. Why.

Friends

2011-05-17T22:21:00.005+08:00

I dont have sharp eyes, I dont have straight A's record, But it's based on my experience, I know how to judge a person and most of the time, I'm right.

I'm not trying to woo fame here, but I can almost justify what kind of person you are after engaging in a few conversation. I was closed to my dad last time, I attended to most of his function, ceremony award, company launching, almost everything. All the people were seems close to my dad suddenly disappear when my dad is not financially doing well. Some still taking his advantage against his blindness to cheat his money. How pathetic. But thats the world.

Maybe the reason I think I've seen much people is, I was once rich, but now poor. In that way, everyone will show their true color. But still, everyone need friends as a part of their life.

I dont judge a person by hearing one side of the story, I take the initiative to find out another side of the story. Then i analyze it myself myself. Sometimes, theres no need to listen from both sides, because if everyone is saying the same thing, clearly the message is clear. I have my own ways of justifying the truth. The decisions I made was never short term. I think of the long term. People that think about the short term are too stupid. Just like few managers that told me they quit after having 1 million in their account, thinking they could survive until the day they die. Wrong, there is this thing called inflation. If you take into calculation, our money value grow smaller each day. So 1 million is not even sufficient for a city lifestyle, so forget about migrating.

There's this friend of mine, I'm really disappointed with him tonight. He couldnt even settle a small amount of debt to me. Honestly, I dont care about the amount, because its so little that could barely support one happy meal. But he has been delaying until it reaches my boiling point.

As a friend, I voiced out to him. That's what friends are for. They tell you your weakness. I hate to bullshit. But I'm speaking the truth telling my friend he needs to change his attitude. But his reply towards me was cool. Maybe his another side of brain is not functioning well. I have to stressed out the point again, it's not about the money, it's about the friendship. the level of friendship that I thought you will still able to change into a better person, but you failed me.

From another side of the story, if RM10 can show your true color, then it's my gain. But seriously, My heartache when someone was close to me has fallen into this stage. Its not worth if to forgo the relationship because of RM10.

Seriously, i fucking hate immature conversation and fucking immature kids. To determine your maturity level, just look at your own problem solving skills. We are all differ from different family background. So there is no exact answer to that. But you yourself know the best. Go in the toilet, look at the mirror. And if you feel disgusted or nothing, then flush yourself in the toilet bowl.

If he's another stranger, I wouldnt even give a shit. but he's my friend, and I treat all of my friend equally, and the worst of all, I think I could somehow save him. Sigh.

Effing disappointed at the way you think.

Should I?

2011-05-14T01:06:00.003+08:00

Today, Aaron told me mum is really not happy with her work place. She cried over certain accusation being thrown at her regarding on the losses of stock.

Apparently, When the company perform stock tick, there are some stock were missing and the loss is estimated to be around MYR4000. So my mum's style is, she had no choice, she wanted to absorb the cost. But MYR4000?

I'm just disappointed with my mum's thinking, sometimes. What the world say is true, when someone is old, the hardest thing you want to change is the way they think. Its like a poison that slowly spread and grow and soon develop a form of thinking that only the few or none could change. So my arguments is like fighting against her poison, but this poison is far more powerful than my advise. If you watch the movie"Inception", the scene that I'm about to play when confronting my mum is like Mr Cobb talking to his wife, Mal. Mal does not believe in what Mr Cobb said and thinking whats best for her is also the best solution for Mr Cobb, which is not.

The point I wanted to say is, I'm just disappointed with the way my mum thinks. But as her children, I must take consideration in what life she had been through that shaped her into this way. There are just too many pains for her to bear. It's seriously a miracle that she's still standing strong today. So whatever it is, my disappointment towards is just purely disappointment. So far so good?

It the outside world, Its a dog eat dog situation. Only the smart will survive. If you obey too much law, then you wouldnt be suceed or rich. Because law are for the mass. Its for the wise people control the not-so-wise people. Try follow the law, you will never be rich my friend. Rich or successful people know how to break the law and use it for their own benefit. It depends how one would utilize it.

Sigh, there wont be any solution for now. Although I trying hard to raise so many points in my head to her, but it's not a good time. She's already in a devastating condition, by saying the right thing will not help her. What I need is to comfort her, tell her to take a rest. And bury what happened today and a new day comes tomorrow, which obviously she wouldnt listen. But at least, I dont argue. I trying hard, to stay calm. and listen to her cell group members trying to advise me on how thankful I should be and whatever good advise they could offered.

I wished I could stormed in to my mum's company to stand firm for her, bash up all the person that take advantages on her. But then again, I'm not an employee to that company. Who am I to speak? By doing that, I will only get myself into trouble. At the end of the day, It's my mum's battle. She just have to deal with it. There are too many battles in life. These are one of it. The impact of learning wouldnt be as powerful if she decided to run away from it. This is life, people screw you, you must screw them back.

If anyone screw me, I'll fuck them. (non physical contact).

Sigh, (Lord, help me, grant me strength and wisdom to react to the situation, Amen).

Exam tomorrow!

Superman needs a break

2011-05-11T00:14:00.003+08:00

In our family, among my cousins, there is a fictional superhero name was given to everyone of us, and mine was Superman, Aaron was Batman and Andy was He-Man.

I thought I always super in anything. But that was just an illusion that I trapped myself in. As a human, I have boundaries. I have limits. I love to go against the limit. You can call me a risk taker. And I do it for a living.

The risk I'm taking is not measurable, not calculated, and totally unprepared. Yet, I put myself in those situation and find my stupidity level is beyond comprehension. It's just me, And my body is painfully taking it.

It should come to a time, where I treat my body in a better way. Like go for a health scan or whatsoever. Because my blood pressure reading is effing high. and I expected it.

This is how a blood presure reading works.

Top number (systolic) in mm Hg		Bottom number (diastolic) in mm Hg	Your category*	What to do**
Below 120	and	Below 80	Normal blood pressure	Maintain or adopt a healthy lifestyle.
120-139	or	80-89	Prehypertension	Maintain or adopt a healthy lifestyle.
140-159	or	90-99	Stage 1 hypertension	Maintain or adopt a healthy lifestyle. If blood pressure goal isn't reached in about six months, talk to your doctor about taking one or more medications.
160 or more	or	100 or more	Stage 2 hypertension	Maintain or adopt a healthy lifestyle. Talk to your doctor about taking more than one medication.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/blood-pressure/HI00043.

But my results shows,

The top reading: 159 (first time), 163 (second time)
The bottom reading: 96(first time), (90) (second time)

Clearly, this isnt a good news. I shall do a body check up soon. And it shall serve a reminder to fols like you out there to do a body check up. Like seriously. So what the hell are you waiting for? Fcuking set an appointment with your doctor and tell him, I dont want to hear good news, I want only bad news. But if there isnt any bad news, then its good. :)

Damn. I need a punching bag.

Free domino pizza

2011-05-06T20:46:00.002+08:00

Andy: kor (Brother), I won a domino pizza.

Me: How?

Andy: I bet with teacher. And I won the bet.

Me: Come again? what did you bet on?

Andy: I scored 90 marks for my add maths. And the teacher said I will get 80 marks.

Me: That's awesome. Go get yourself an ABC from freezer. I bought it for you (actually for my own consumption)

Andy: Thanks kor!

:)

Untitled.

2011-05-04T15:20:00.004+08:00

Dear Dad,

Ever since you're gone, our life is like a puzzle that can never be complete. Its saddening to see that you leave us at such early age. It's definitely not easy for me and the rest of the family. Your death has brought our family into another stage of life, Where some people said : "it's just a beginning of a new life".

As I looked into the old picture album today, I couldnt help noticing your achievements, your projects, your work and your kids. I think, Andy, is truly a gift from god that he is placed in this family.

Remember he won the best looking baby contest when he was at the very young age? Remember he mimic as a magician and perform tricks when he was in kindergarten? And until today, he still won several awards in school. He never fails to achieve what he wants to do. But sometimes, mum is just too stressful to recognize what he achieved. But somehow, Andy is mature to understands it.

Remember you used to called Andy, "ah hao"? you used to ask him to walk over to the opposite to get nasi lemak for you. " Ah hao" is so adorable. He is the apple of our eye. And I think we will risk anything for him.

When you left, the days are tough. We are being despise by so many people. And these are not coming from friends but rather from our own relatives. They see us as a burden, they see us as a fallen family and we are really in despair. But, our job is protect mum. And even mum does not have a great pool of wealth, but I'm sure her investment surely paid off when we're all adults. Sometimes she refuse to eat, just to let us have the portion of her food. The three kids is all she have. And we will never going to disappoint her. Never.

Recently, our family is having a very tough time. And this is the time I felt such a huge responsibility like never before. I felt sorry for those who still rely much on parents. Like when I heard my friends accident and all he did was to ask his dad to settle and not bother to take responsibility of what he did. And some, complaining about insufficient of pocket money. I hate to engage in childish conversation because I just dont see a point of me learning anything.

Forgive me dad, for sometimes I couldnt control my anger. Sometimes I argue with mum other certain issue. Mum said that among three kids, I'm the worst listener because I often listen half way and not the complete stories she wanted to tell. I tried to understand from her view. But I voice out the other day, saying I'm tired of being the spoke person for mum's side family and dad's side family. Aaron dont involve in family matters. All he did was study. Andy is too young to bother with all these shit and nonsense. And mum doesnt like it. Whether I like it or not, I have to listen from both sides of the uncle complain and everything regarding to family matters. Just like right now if theres any upcoming gathering, I will be notified and I shall pass the message to mum.

Well, at least thank God for Andy, who non stop to cheer me up and keep me accompany. And dad, I taught him a lot of naughty stuff. Not because I want him to be bad. But I want him to learn. I taught him how to cheat, in order to not let others cheat him. I taught him about internet gambling and he really lost rm700 and I pay for him. But recently he just fully paid me and he will never online gamble again because that Rm700 taught him a lesson. I taught him so many bad things in order to let him know the other side of the world. Because I dont study like Aaron, I'm an adventurer.

I think, the biggest lost of you leaving us early is not being able to watch the growth of Andy. He's just talkative. Very. But his arguments are valid. There are strong points to support his arguments. And that is why, mum always lost to him. And he looked really really cute when he was small as I look at the picture album today. I cried, with a smile on my face. Knowing that, there will be a better life for us in the future.

Dad, our love towards you has never faded and remain strong until this days. till then, we shall have another talk again. I gonna place myself back to reality soon. I used up all my savings. I'm considering of taking a personal loan. And pour all that money and effort into my job. And bless me will you? I hope you're watching me from above. God bless you too, Pa.

Where to eat?

2011-05-01T16:24:00.002+08:00

Mum called. Andy answered the phone.

Andy: Oi, mum ask wanna eat at home or outside?

Me: Dont know.

Aaron: Anything.

Andy replied my mum and he ask us again,

Andy: Eh, wanna cook at home or eat outside?

Me: Can we cook outside and eat?

Aaron: Anything.

Andy told my mum what I said. But obviously, my mum will never catch the joke.

Understanding.

2011-04-28T22:18:00.006+08:00

At times when I down, I try to recall moments that made me happy. And a happy moment I'm about to recall right now is about a conversation I had with a girl inside my car after a tiring day.

As both of us get into the car, I ignite the engine and take a slow drive heading towards her house to drop her off.

While I was driving, I take the initiative to talk to her and ask her question to keep the atmosphere alive.

Me: (Trying to come out with something that both of us could interact)

Her: Adrian, you can stop it now.

Me: What do you mean?

Her: I dont know, I think you can completely be yourself right now and dont have to try hard to cheer the atmosphere anymore cause it's only both of us in the car, so just relax.

Me: Yeah, The truth is, I'm really tired. Really really tired. And you really dont mind if i being silent cause that's what I will do if I'm really tired.

Her: Yeah, I can see that. I think you're tired of cheering up the atmosphere during the yumcha session just now. I know some of the things you speak are purely based on for-the-sake of creating atmosphere. So, right now you can say anything you want. Just dont try to cheer me or what now, because seriously, its only both of us right now.

During the journey I send her back to her house, I really enjoyed the conversation I had with her, I dont have to think twice before I speak. The feeling is just nice. How someone beautiful like her can be so understanding and speak to me in a way that no one has ever done before.

That was truly a happy night. And I remember I sleep with a smile that night. :)

等菜（waiting for vege )?

2011-04-26T10:41:00.004+08:00

I don't know who on earth created this statement, but it sounds catchy and can be use to rush people in a nice manner.

等菜 Teng-cai（waiting for vege )?

It can be use to describe someone who is day dreaming or to hasten someone's performance or use it in anyway u think is relevant.

An example of the normal conversation I had last night with my siblings,

While Andy and Aaron are playing dota, I was watching at the side

Andy: Aaron! faster la! attack the building!!!!! 等菜啊?

Aaron: Okayyyyyyy.

Andy: walaneh! faster retreat la, enemy already respawn!

Aaron: Okayyyyyyy.

Andy: Adrian ar! where is my water! ask to fill up already earlier right? 等菜啊?

Adrian: Okayyyyyyy.

Suddenly mum interrupts,

Mum: What is 等菜啊?

Three of us burst into laugh and clearly, My mum is owning!

Three different types of flavor

2011-04-25T09:49:00.003+08:00

I have two siblings. Everyone one of us experience a different taste of education. My eldest brother, Aaron was enrolled in Private school at secondary level, where everything is taught in Mandarin. He often participates in debate and He was a head prefect. A good example for students to follow. He will never break any rules and never really punish anyone because he has a good heart, like back then when I was small, My dad bought me a bird, and my brother release it cause he felt it's pity for it to stay in the cage and tortured by me.

My younger brother, Andy, enrolled in a government school but a chinese government school at a secondary level. There's no extra features in it. Just a government school, but added there's a Mandarin subject. How awesome is that? In that way, he will never forget his mother language and never becomes a banana. He was a perfect too, not the head. and he was a debater too, Andy and Aaron blend well together when there are upcoming debate activity. They will share their views and points. Not me, cause I will only interrupt their work and cause a mess. Andy argues with head prefect, he describe being perfect is a 'dog', and he also disagree how the way some teachers conducted their teaching in school. This guy, always filled with stories. And disagreement. Lots of talking, but definitely not bullshit.

Now me, Adrian. Enrolled in a purely government school at secondary level, learns how to *ponteng* (play truant, skip class), Negotiate with teachers on homeworks given, and *lepak*. I involve in some naughty act such as lying, stealing and cursing. I'm not a debater nor a prefect. My academic results are not as good compare to both of them. One is inside presidential list, and Andy scored 7ain his PMR. But in family, everyone likes me. Regardless of my dad's side and mum's side. I'm the one that involves in the so called 'family politics'. And I'm like a runner to my family. Where if there's anything deficit, I will find a way to balance my family expenses. I'm very tricky, although I'm the second one in the family, I always win my dad's heart to favor me. I always find my way to grab hold on things which sometimes i dont deserve. I seize opportunity. I'm a snake, what do you expect, I must know how to 'snake' around.

I suggested my mum to place us in a different secondary learning stage and see who will taste the best! It's too early to make a judgment now, and let's just see. :)

Unusual

2011-04-11T01:59:00.004+08:00

I was traveling at 130km/h on Federal highway with my mum and Andy inside. On normal occasion, my mum will already speak,yell, scold, mumble each time the speed meter exceed 120km/h. But it was a different day tonight. I maintain the same speed or exceed 130km/h along the highway.

My mum didnt yell. She keep on typing on her mobile phone as if like she's writing an essay. My prediction was, she was so disappointed with me until she decided not to speak up. But instead, sms my brother to tell him the whole story.

I'm tired of listening. And i guess she knows it. So she choose a peaceful way to express it. I guess there is no point to speak up disappointments that have no solutions. My solutions is, pray, sleep tonight, and ready for another battle tomorrow.

Life has it's ups and downs. You will never fully appreciate the ups unless you have some downs. The down situation I'm facing now is self resulted. That's happened when i always take things for granted. But i'm gonna be 'up' soon. Soon...

Why are they still alive? Seriously.

2011-04-10T14:40:00.003+08:00

I told my younger brother, Andy this morning saying, People that stop improvise themselves and learning is just a waste. They should be killed because they're not utilizing the resources on earth efficiently.

Anger management 101

2011-04-06T00:08:00.002+08:00

So, I created a subject for myself.

***********************************************

Subject: Anger management

Subject Code: AM1011

Syllabus covered: Just dont burst into anger.

Assignment: Dont ever let anger take control of my body.

Subject duration: 1 month.

***********************************************

Lets see whether I can pass this subject or not.

Pretty sunday

2011-04-05T01:02:00.002+08:00

I spotted her across the table. She was with her parents. And I'm with my parent too. My mum only.

She looked gorgeous in her elegant black dress. I have direct eye contact with her after she finish order her meal. I gaze at her for that few seconds, and almost got myself lost in space.

I try to come out with my best smile, my best pose to win her attention. It seems that she cant help trying to look at me too, or maybe its because the table she sitting was just in front of me and so happened that she was sitting on the direction that was facing me.

There was a huge mirror in that restaurant, I kept on looking at the mirror not to find my own image, but hers. I think the customer that sits right next to the mirror got freaked out because i often smile towards the mirror hoping to direct it to her.

I'm trying hard to finish my organic vegetarian food as slow as i could. Chewing at the speed of snail. Wishing this moment could last longer.

But, all things has to come to an end. Mum asked me to settle the bill and I remembered I keep on turning back just to have a glimpse of her. Wishing she would gaze at me too. But real life just doest work that way. I even thought of trying to confront her by asking her number in front of her parents! but then again, as i said, real life just doesnt work that way.

For the first time

2011-04-05T00:59:00.001+08:00

My current addiction.

My ugly side

2011-04-01T19:55:00.004+08:00

When I get mad, things get ugly. Really ugly. I can throw a fridge, choke your neck and turnover a table. So after all, I'm not the chill, calm, funny Adrian. I have my temper too. Just don't wait for me to lose it. Anger seems to taking over my body easily these days. And I just allow it. So stupid but I felt its the only way to stop the situation.

I dont know

2011-03-25T05:05:00.002+08:00

I noticed, the style of our politic runs are almost similar to how an gangster organization runs. There are life bullet threatening, sex tape, sodomy case and so much more. Maybe they dont know the rules of debating, therefore, seldom debates are held to argue a point from any party. Or maybe they are afraid of participating in a debate because it requires transparency.

I'm turning 22 years old this year. Voting is one of my way to speak, to choose and to determine who I desire to run this country. I'm going to register myself as a voter and vote! I spoke to some people where they dont even bother to vote. Some even worst, their opinion are easily sway by the mass opinion. I truly believe, as a citizen of your country, one must know how does the political system works. There is no point cursing around about politics because actions speak louder than words. I'm just tired of hearing. Maybe I'm not a good listener.

Sometimes, as hard as I try to be a good listener, I must be realistic as well. With technology advancement, information lies on our tip of finger. I wont impress by people who try to make up story. Whats the point of adding big margin into your story if its all bullshit? 1:truth. Not 1:10 bullshit. Some people just dont get it. It like they thought I dont respect them by not listening to their stories. But again, I'm already 22 years old. Later, I'm might need to listen to my wife's stories, then my children stories, and so on. Do I still have time to listen to all this nonsense?

I thought as we grow older, our mind should become wiser and mature. I wouldnt admit the fact that we still make mistake when we're old. But at least we should be more careful on the things we speak, read and see. We must be selective. Not vulnerable to anyone's opinion. It really piss me off when someone trying so hard to say something illogical in order to fit into some conversation. Or would rather said something that he/she thinks it is out of the blue just to create conversation or show off? Please, save it. I need knowledge, news, updates or jokes but definitely not bullshit. I know some of my statement might sounds penetrating.

I have a feeling of my writting is out of topic. Never mind. I know I have no power to stop those bullshitting. But at least, I have to power to choose not to listen. So dont be surprise, next time in front of your face, I will request you to do me a favor, shut your mouth. This would be the last thing that I wanted to do. But if it reaches my boiling point, then dont blame me.

I kid you not.

2011-02-27T00:46:00.003+08:00

I tried playing and singing "catch me if you can" by jess moskoluke. It sounded badly only when i sing it. I wish there's someone out there that can sing like her. Her voice is so beautiful. I can fell in love by just listening over and over again. :)

I hate this feeling

2011-02-22T00:32:00.003+08:00

Screw this, I want to blog. But my emotions are holding me back. I'm feeling empty. I hate this feeling. I know I shouldnt let my emotions control over my thoughts. But I cant resist it. Damn.

I'm bored

2011-02-20T04:42:00.002+08:00

Get a laptop, Install autotune. And be a youtube superstar by then. :)

I love the part where he sings : " I'm gonna do this until the day that I die" and " I'm in love with those curly fries." (with some action)

When I'm not at home

2011-02-20T04:08:00.005+08:00

A conversation between my eldest brother, Aaron with my younger brother, Andy when I'm away from home.

(this is what Aaron illustrated and sort of complained of the conversation he had with Andy to me when I got back)

While they are playing dota...

Aaron: Eh Andy, Can you help me to figure out what item to buy for my hero?

Andy: Please use your brain.

Aaron: Walau, faster tell me what item to buy la.

Andy: Please use your brain. For if you dont, please donate it to others. Thanks.

Aaron: WTF. ( kena owned)

This is another reason why I love Chicken boy so much. :)

Hear this if you can.

2011-02-17T00:28:00.003+08:00

Another amazing vocalist I've found on Youtube, Jess Moskaluke. To be honest, I think she kinda sound like Shania Twain.

Here it is, The latest by Jess Moskaluke -" catch me if you can" - Taylor Ward featured artist. :)

Speedy Football

2011-02-15T01:48:00.003+08:00

My conversation between me and my brother, Andy.

Andy: Adrian, Would you mind slowing down? Stop speeding. It makes me uncomfortable.

Me: I'm not even speeding okay? It's just normal. Like 80km/h. Even my primary teacher once said 100km/h is consider average.

Andy: So that's where you picked up your habit.

Me: Anyway, There's this thing called 'break'? I'll hit it when it's too fast.

Andy: Kor, You know in football, if the defender is taken away from the field and left only the goalkeeper to catch the ball, that would be a disaster. Most of the time, The defender would try their best to defend.

Me: I think I get what you're trying to said. I'm the defender right?

Andy: Yeah! And I think your goalkeeper is really unhappy with you. So please control your speeding habit.

Me: Okay la chicken boy.

Somehow still kena

2011-02-09T22:17:00.004+08:00

As Me, My mum, My younger brother, Andy stepped in the elevator. This is what happened.

Mum: Woah, Today you all behave so well that I think I never scolded u all for even once!

Andy: Actually I'm being good all the time one, because of Adrian (me) only I get scolded.

Me: Walan, You damn know how to cover your ass right? pouring all the blame on me.

Andy: *laughing*

Suddenly....Mum speaks in anger

Mum: WHY THIS LIFT SEEMS TO BE NOT MOVING?

Andy: *Kor* (brother) ar!

Adrian: Walaneh, Who so noob never press the level button?! No wonder la!

Mum: SEE!! DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ALL DOING! EVERYDAY SAY SILLY STUFF TILL NOT FOCUSING WHAT TO DO. THOUGHT THERE'S A DAY WHEREBY I DONT GET THE CHANCE TO SCOLD YOU ALL, BUT STILL!

Andy: I told Adrian to press d.

Adrian: Shut up Chicken Boy.

Mum goes even more angry cause I called my brother chicken boy.

Imagine the next scenario yourself. :S

Beauty lies within her eyes

2011-02-08T02:47:00.004+08:00

I think, the feeling of talking with a girl by looking into her eyes is just amazing. There's another level of beauty when I looked a girl's eye. It's filled with sincerity, focus and attention. And I just love that. The focus that she gazed at me will somehow creates some kind of energy. Maybe thats what they called "sparks"? Those lovely eyes of her are sometimes the reason why I kept the conversation running alive. It makes me feel important.

There are so many songs out there that describe the "beautiness" you can find within a girl's eye. Its just awesome. Check out the two songs that describes the feeling one will generated when looking at 'her' eyes. :)

"When You Look Me In The Eyes" - Jonas brother duet version

My favorite part: When you looked me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven

"Pretty Eyes" - Alex Goot

My favorite part: You and your pretty eyes, it keep me alive, keep me alive.

For my Mum

2011-01-18T03:22:00.003+08:00

The clock reads at 3:27am in the morning. It's time to get some rest. I have a long day tomorrow. But something hits me before I'm about to enter my room.

I gazed at the door room next to me. I'm wondering how my mum put herself to sleep each day. Someday, she complained her headache. Someday, she complained about her workplace. Or maybe the worst day, she had an argument with me. I'm such an asshole sometimes. Seriously, did she sleep in tears just like the way I did? I dont know. All I know is, I have hurt her many times. If she had her heart attack one day *touchwood*, I think it's not because of her food consumption diet, but more likely because of me.

It is said, the closest illustration of God's love is our mother's love towards their son. Our mother's love is so great and yet unconditional.

My mum asked questions that frustrates me most of the time. I shouldn't be frustrated knowing that she was born during baby boomer generation. Sometimes, I answered her question. Sometimes, I yelled. And the worst, trust me, you dont want to know.

It's almost like the video below. The way I behave is just like the young man inside this video. Watch it.

I dont know how many dumb question have I raise to my parents when I was young. But 1 thing I know is that our parents will answered back gently at us with a smile.

Damn.

I plan to direct a video. The idea is already there but I need more. I wanna dedicate my coming video to all the mothers in the world and all the a**hole around the world (like me). The message would be something like, dont take our mum for granted. She cooked, She do the housework, She cleaned, She discipline. It's not easy and its never easy especially if she happens to play 3 role just like my mum, an employee (when she goes to work), a mother (when she cooked and discipline us), and a father (after the loss of our dad).

Bear with me readers for the upcoming video. But meanwhile, appreciate your mum. :) take her out or something. Make her feel beautiful. Make her feel cared. Most importantly, make her feel loved.

Apple

2011-01-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

The news just reported Steve Jobs took a medical leave. Let's see how is Apple's movement now.

First date?

2011-01-14T02:58:00.002+08:00

I think, tomorrow, is my first date. Yeah. That's about it.

What if I die young?

2011-01-13T02:33:00.004+08:00

I prefer this version although this song was originally sing by The Band Perry. Enjoy. :)

Someone, somebody, it could be anybody

2011-01-11T20:34:00.002+08:00

I need a message, hug, kiss and to be comfort.

There are times where I wish there's someone to listen what are my complains, frustrations, thoughts and everything. it's just tired sometimes to bear it all by myself.

It's just the situation I'm in right now. I just wish there someone I could turn to. I need message, hug, comfort. Waking up everyday is like holding on to a battle that never ends unless I voice out everything.

She doesnt have to be perfect, all I need is just a listening ears. Just listen. And I hope I'll fall asleep in your arms.

This song "River Flows In You" by Yiruma never fails to accompany me when I'm down.

It's so comforting that I wish my future soulmate could play this song and I can hug her while she is playing this song.

Thoughts

2011-01-04T04:27:00.003+08:00

I love to do my thinking when it comes to night time. Especially when the moon is shinning bright. I raise questions that only answered by myself. Sometimes the answer that I seek dont just appear. Sometime all it takes is a matter of time and faith. Believe in it and the truth will prevail.

Recently, I'm connected back to my primary school friends. They are still adorable. Some of them married, getting divorce, engaged, still single and much more that anyone could expect. After all, Life is not simple as ABC. Tell me about something I dont know.

They request for countless yumcha session. Like today, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow? Meeting up is fine with me. But meeting up too often becomes a problem to me. I'm not unfriendly. I have a valid reason by saying that.

Meeting up often doing something is fine with me. At least I know I'm productive. That's why company held meeting for a reason. But yumcha meeting up without any fresh news and for the sake of seeing each other face is just plain. It gets bored. Then it starts annoy me. It kinda makes me feel like I could spend my resources in terms of time on something better. When I feel that way, normally I'm right.

But looking back at my primary school relationship moment, I still cherish them. Each and every one of them. And I hope given more time, they would become dear to me. But sometimes time is just not enough. I thought maybe I'm selfish for not attending some primary school yumcha occasion. But then if I attended, I'm unfair to myself. What happen to my dreams? I suppose to spend my time chasing after it and protect it.

Simple as that, Live for yourself, dont live for others. All we can do is just try our very best. Sometimes we just need to learn how to say NO!

Happy new 2011

2011-01-01T14:50:00.004+08:00

Its a new day on a new year. I cant help noticing the date today which is 1-1-2011.

I'm dont really write down my resolution on the previous year. But I plan to write down each and every one of them this year. :)

In 2010, my productivity only increases when end of the year draws near. It makes me feel like I should've go the extra mile during the other time in 2010. I hate it especially when I'm the first on any traffic junction. It gives me the feeling like "should have cross it" or "should have drive faster earlier". So that's how i feel right now. Right now, a red light is display on the year of 2010. It means full stop. Anything undone only can be postpone to this year.

Well, This year...I'm gonna spend it differently. So write down your new year resolution! Include helping more people k? :)

Have a great new year ahead. Dont be afraid of taking chances or challenges. Do what you want to do. Live life to the fullest. :)

LMAO

2010-12-30T22:34:00.004+08:00

My conversation between me and my mother.

****************************************************************

Mum: Where do you normally park when you go sunway pyramid?

Me: Inside.

Mum: Inside where?

Me: Inside pyramid.

Mum: The parking lot basement or above?

Me: Prefer above. Cause it's easier to access to the above parking lot.

Mum: What?! above?? you mean you park the parking lot above?

Me: Yes.

Mum: What?? Seriously you park above??!!

Me: Yes! what's the problem?

Mum: Your kancil got power to go up ar?

Me: LMAO!

****************************************************************

The End

Call me bad

2010-12-23T21:15:00.003+08:00

Call me wicked, bad, immature or evil. But at least I'm honest.

It all started when our presence are landed on this earth, birth-day. Then it comes a tradition that we give other people present during their birthday. Why does people give present during that day? I think giving present is a form of showing your gratitude or appreciation towards that particular person. Just like mother's day, valentine's day, father's day and any other holiday. Those holiday are mean to be recognized and worth remembered. It's something we human should celebrate and make it happening to its maximum potential. We should embrace every single moments of celebration and store it in our mind that we could have a flashback when we're old or about to die. These beautiful moments are meant to be kept. That's another reason why cameras and video cameras are invented.

So, the meaning of giving a present/gift. How much or what kind of present can only reflect our sincerity? Is the more you pay for the present means the more sincerity one have?Or the other way round? Or maybe just get anything as a present regardless of what it is as long as for the sake of giving? I believe each and everyone of us have either good or bad experience towards any birthday occasion especially when it comes to giving PRESENT.

But what annoys me is the people that manage it. Sometimes, my name often mention when it comes to contribution. But when the time comes to my birthday, none contribute. Not that I expect any big kind of return. It almost feel like they take me for granted. Dont you feel that way? or maybe is it just me? They ask me to contribute for Ipod, handbags, camera, handphone, perfume and so much other more. And they just said they're out of money when it comes to my birthday. Seriously, I do not expect cool gadgets or whatsoever. Anything will do. Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm expected the outcome of how I've given. If you think I'm the kind of person, then you dont know me well.

How do I select a gift? Normally, I'll buy the one that he/she likes. That doesnt mean I'll buy ANYTHING that he likes. Common sense right? So, getting the gift can be sometimes costly and affordable because it all depends on the situation too. But seriously, how much is consider expensive? how much is only consider cheap? If you love someone, you buy something without looking the price. But when it comes to buying the present for friend, someone just have to be calculative and comes up with "innovative" reasons. Those are bull-shit. And I just hate it. Let me ask again, is it me again who felt this way? or you people enjoying hearing bull shit story?

I dont mind to stretch my pocket to pay sometimes. After all I only give that person once in a year. So why not? How much is expensive? how much is cheap then? It all subject to your circle of friends discussion. But honestly speaking, our spending and earning power increase as we grow. We somehow will also get something fancy cause a cheap gift is not ideal. Common sense la? RM50 may look like a really big amount to me when I'm young, but as I grow older. I think getting a RM50 gift is like getting a RM5 gift. I do not intended to explain every single aspect of detail of buying a present. Like I said, common sense. Shame on you selfish people. Its you people that gives the world a hard time.

I'm seriously pissed when it comes to certain group of people that are not willing to contribute. They labeled you as friend. But not willing to sacrifice for that "once-a-year" contributions. Screw these people.

Again, this post is not intended to hurt anyone's feeling. The story above is not directed to someone intentionally. I apologize if any of you felt you're insulted/ "terasa" during the process of reading.

Fishy

2010-12-14T11:55:00.003+08:00

My conversation between me and my younger brother, Andy. After I just got back from fishing.

*************************************************************************

Andy: Woah, where have you been until 4:30am?

Me: Fishing.

Andy: What??!! Fishing??? where?

Me: Got la. Somewhere in Shah Alam. But damn suck la. Cause we never caught any fish.

Andy: *laughing*. that's the way la. I'm on the fish side. You are so bad la kor, imagine the fish swim freely, then being caught by you. Then you burn it and you eat it. EEEEEEEE.....Why I have such brother like you.

Me: Eh, then you ask me bring you go KFC everytime somemore? No nasi lemak tambah ayam. Only tambah nasi. Pity the chicken also. they can flip their wing freely in the farm without being eaten by u.

Andy: Catch more fish next time la kor.

Children

2010-12-12T22:56:00.004+08:00

The Little Children and Jesus

^"13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” ¹⁶ And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."

This verse was being preached during my church service. The main point is,

Children likes to push their limit
Children always expect their father to provide
Children are bold enough to speaks

Most importantly, we must practice a child-like faith instead of a child-dish faith.

God's children are important in HIS eyes. Every single on of us. I thanked God that I have the opportunity to serve in Sunday School for almost 3 years. Although its not an easy task, but it's always fun and challenging. Some kids will always try their ways to step over your head or disobey your orders, some kids will always do their own stuff, whereby some kids will listen to you no matter what. There are so many situation to deal with. Its an important ministry to serve because the teachers are impacting the next generation. Our teaching guide, material, skills and lesson will be observed by these little innocent children and who knows applying in their life? I just want to thank God for the wisdom and guidance He blessed me to teach in sunday school. I love sunday school. Seeing those little kids make me feel alive and young.

And the best is, I love when they called me, Teacher Adrian. :)

Missing

2010-12-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

I miss you badly.
You're the first person that I'm looking for whenever I sign in my msn.
You're the only person that I wish that my facebook front wall notification are filled with your updates.
I just wish you would know this. I miss your voice. I wanna go out with you. I wanna spend my time with you and know you more.
I miss you. And I hope you know this. :)

What's the point?

2010-12-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

What's the point of having a big house without a home?
What's the point of being in a relationship without love?
What's the point of having fancy dinner without appreciation?

As much as I hate it, I just have to bear with it sometimes.

I just got back from witnessing a grand closing ceremony of an event. My uncle is the founder of the company. Lots of people turned up. The forums are talking about it. Internet are streaming videos about it. It was a huge thing going on.

Somehow, a dinner was held after the closing ceremony in a fancy restaurant. A fancy restaurant that only the rich can afford to eat. The atmosphere was awesome. The lighting were stunning. But I'm unhappy.

I hate attending dinners with family from my mum sides. They are all rich. Too rich until the extent that the poor have no rights to speak and any actions are invisible. The presence of our family seems like a shadow to them. I think sometimes they even felt ashamed when they're somehow blood related to us. All of them drove luxurious car like porsche, bmw, mercedez unlike local car compare to us.

There were three tables reserved for the dinner. By right, the table should be manage in such way. Family, one table. Staff of the company, one table. And the crew of the event, one table. But somehow, me and my brother were placed in the crew table. it's even damn piss when my uncle even asked us to sit down only when all the crews filled up the seats. Which indirectly it can be mean that the crews are more important than me and my brother. Maybe their conribution is higher. Maybe blood related just does not apply in my family.

The family table, Filled with laughter. I dont know is there even true happiness exist in that table. It's so fake. Speaking about fake, all my cousins are so fake. Before they even helping each other, they always think of the reward/benefit they will receive. See what I mean? Maybe that's the lifestyle of the rich and famous? On the staff table, Everything seems normal. But definitely not the crew table. But thank god there's a 'guai lou' in our table. He somehow cheer the situation up with his jokes around the country.

I never bother to ask how much the dinner cost. Obviously it's equivalent to someone's monthly salary. But all those stunning lighting, expensive dinner, fancy atmosphere just does not impress me at all. Especially when I cant even have a little taste of happiness.

Insanity

2010-11-24T18:23:00.004+08:00

Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different results. And I think that's one of the key to success. Be insane but dont lose track.

"Sometimes, I just need somebody"

2010-11-18T03:22:00.003+08:00

I came across my friend's blog and find that his post really speaks to whats on my mind.

"By Joshua Hajok"

"Sometimes. Maybe, all the time. i don’t know.

To hug someone you adore so much, you don’t mind being sick with and just get yourself drowned with her voices and her stares at you. To laugh and shout at each other when you’re happy and mad over small lil things, but still be able to embrace each other’s presence with love and just good things. I just wanna be like a kid with her, yet be a man in the relationship when it comes to decisions and directions of life. She’ll be my youth. She’ll complete my life. She’ll probably be a dancer, a singer, a pianist, a musician of many instruments, and we’ll do music together. But it’s a bonus feature. Its best when she becomes my inspiration to write songs.

I love it when she leads her team. Being a leader in whatever she does, yet understands that she still needs to compromise to things i want to be in control. I’ll join her for manicure, or pedicure, spa, massage, lol. I don’t mind getting myself pampered with all these things. Get my eyebrows done for example. =) Watch korean dramas if she enjoys watching those, if not then it’ll be my own sessions. =) Shopping, holiday trips, barbeques! cook for her, and a lot of those lil stuff in life that i just want to share with. On Valentine’s Day, i wouldn’t have to be so desperate or pathetic. On her birthday, she won’t have to worry about forgotten birthdays. On her troubled times, she can always look for me for comfort words, or comfort itself.

These are dreams of having the perfect ‘One’. An imagination of the future. A fantasy of being in love. Sometimes, i gotta love myself for doing this. haha. She won’t be perfect. but she’ll be perfect in her imperfections. If she’s perfect, she wouldn’t need me."

Believe it or not, I always thought of matters like this every night. I just hoping there is someone I could turn to for daily matters. Or certain matters. Probably she tell me about her day, and I'll tell mine. We both can share, encourage, comfort, tease, laugh on anything that came across our conversation. Sigh.

Studying is costly

2010-11-12T20:38:00.003+08:00

Studying is not fun. Especially after what happened to me today.

I was in my room for nearly more than 2 hours. Just to keep my study momentum heat up. Suddenly, one of the light bulb in my room went blinking. Crap.

Only yesterday, I replaced the light bulb inside my toilet and it cost me rm10.50 for each. Went through the trouble and not to mention the fact I almost fell into the toilet bowl due the unstable ladder.

So I kinda frustrated when another light bulb related issue arise. I switched on another set of light to replace it. Soon, after few hours, the same freaking damn thing happened. which means there are two light bulb in my room blinking now. I have only 2 sets of light and when each of the sets malfunction, there is another set. But if both also malfunction, that is something I never expect to happen.

Hurray, RM21 gone just for studying. And right now I'm using a dim light and just a table lamp to study. Which lagi demotivates me. Sigh.

*Trying hard not to fall asleep*

Basketball

2010-11-11T01:18:00.002+08:00

It's been a long long time since I ever feel the touch of the basketball.

It was evening. The feeling of exercising is just there. And since Yi Hong and Jimmy is playing basketball, why not joining them?

My first shot attempt was an air-ball. It is obvious that my hands and palm are powerless to make any shots. Shooting the ball is one thing. Hitting the ring is another thing. And scoring the shots are almost an impossible thing.

It took me some time to warm up. Tried few shots until I get the adjustment of my hands towards the angle of the ring. Next, a game! We won some and lost some matches. It was tough. Especially my body is acting strange. My stamina is weaken. It's like as if I'm grasping for air after a match.

Damn. Back in those days, my days are filled with basketball games. Without basketball game in a day, my body can feel the ache, spiritually. But now with basketball game in a day, my body is filled with ache after the next day, physically.

I need to do exercise regularly la. What the heck? I miss badminton, basketball, tennis, swimming ( a bit), jogging laaa......

Welcome home

2010-11-08T17:34:00.007+08:00

The points below are represented in form of satisfaction and excitement I felt during the event.

Hey peeps, I know I've been missing in action for 'quite' some time. It's time to update this blog.

Something unpredictable happened last week. When I was reading online material in the middle of the night, I received a message from Jimmy. He informed us that He'll be back tomorrow in Shah Alam tomorrow for good!. I'm happy. But there's something just not right.

My friend, Jimmy told me that he'll be back at the end of November. But now he's telling us he's coming back on the 5th of November. Something is not right. Few moments later, Izzat called.

"Hey Adrian, what are you doing now?"
Me: Online reading stuff.
"Erm..If we go down Ipoh now you on or not?
Me: ON!! (without hesitation)

*Apparently Jimmy's boss mistreated him and he cant wait to leave anymore!*

It's 2am in the morning. I put my shirt on and off we go. Izzat, me and Edmond.

Edmond schedule is something like this. If he answered the call middle of the night, it means that he's somewhere out. If his phone left unanswered, it means that he's dreaming something sweet by now. Edmond is joining us to go Ipoh as well. But the best thing is, he is in the middle of fishing somewhere in Rawang in the middle of the night. That's freaking awesome. (+1 point)

We picked him up in the middle of the highway. The situation is like a movie scene where a car was driving along the highway and there it goes, A guy pop up. And they fetch him. I always wonder how did that guy appear? And now, I'm applying that kind of movie scene into my life. (+2 point)

The conversation during the journey was priceless. Those are the moments that should engraved in our memory forever. (+3 points)

We arrived Ipoh at 4:50am. The air is fresh. There are not even a single car within our sight. Oh wait, there is one. And we thought we were being followed. (-1 point)

The moment we parked our car, we quickly load jimmy's stuff into his and Izzat's car. We moved everything until the room was left empty just like the first day he moved in I suppose. Well, after we move every jimmy's belonging into the cars, the tomato sauce along the staircase seems tempting. I can feel like they're screaming: "hey Mr Adrian, take us with you too." "We want this sweet escape." But still those tomato sauce werent belong to Jimmy, So I didnt take it. Otherwise, It's a sin for stealing. (+5 points)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in shah Alam. (7:30am)

Unload all jimmy's stuff into his house. I'm sure Alice misses him a lot. *bark*. We were actually worrying how will jimmy's mum respond if she found out we assisting his son's escapades. But our fear fade away as we saw his mum greet us with a warm smile. She's so thankful and even surprise that we went down to Ipoh in the middle of the night just to assist his son's escapade. Jimmy's mum happy. we happy + jimmy happy. We happy = Jimmy happy. All together happy happy. (+ 7 points)

That's the end of the journey! It was something random in our life that we went all the way to Ipoh just to help our close friend, Jimmy. That's what friends are for right? :) Welcome home jimmy!

Those points are represent the satisfaction I felt during the journey. I lost count how many points are they.

P/S: I found out my house ran out of tomato sauce on the next day. *~~I should have taken the tomato sauce~~*

Colbie Caillat - I Never Told You

2010-10-09T23:19:00.001+08:00

I like this song. Add this into your playlist if u like it too.

5-10-10.

2010-10-06T15:46:00.000+08:00

No one enjoys paying toll. And the bad part is sometimes you need to queue so longgg just to pay. The worst part is, I have a smart tag, and yet I still need to queue…for today!

If you are a frequent road user in Federal Highway, You will notice three Smart Tag lane counting from the right. There are three typesl of paying method when it comes to toll. The normal one is where you stop, wind down your window, pass the amount you needed to pay, take the balance , and off you go. The second type is what we called “Touch and Go” or some rather call it “Touch and Slow”. You wind down your window, the same thing. The only difference is there would be any balance out of the payment you made. So the transaction is a bit faster. Roughly 3-4 second faster than the normal type. And the third type is Smart Tag. Smart tag is apparently a smart device. You just present it at your dashboard, as you move slowly to the booth, it will scan and the bar will be lifted. Off you go without wasting your 10 second stopping by. Prefect as it sounds? Not really.

I’m a Smart Tag user. Last week, I’m use NKVE and passing by a toll. What disappointed me was there is only one smart tag booth operating instead of two. I’m rushing. I’m frustrated. But I can’t help it. Today, I’m on my way to PJ. Instead of three smart tag lane, 1 was closed and only 2 were operating. And again, I’m caught in a long queue. And the other lanes queue were not so long compare to smart tag.

As a smart tag user, I always thought i have the privilege to ‘buy’ time. I don’t get it. We are the one that are paying. And why the toll operation management is not maintaining the booth system well so that it could have avoided breakdown? It should have a fast solution when the system breakdown especially when it comes to peak hour. And the servicing or system checking can be conducted at night where the traffic volume is low. Make sense? The thing is, smart tag lane even breakdown when it comes to peak hour. If you maintain your system everyday, create a backup emergency plan, I doubt the smart tag lane will seldom breakdown and even if it does, only for a while.

Also, the smart tag lane should be build far away from the bar. Knowing the booth don’t have such advance laser scanning technology, then place the bar at a further distance. It should indicate or suggest what speed we should be travelling. But indicate a reasonable speed? Like 30km/h or 40km/h. I think below 30km/h is too slow. If the scanning were design in such way where it is build 300 meters behind the bar, why not? Instead of the current design, some people still hit their break upon reaching the scanning zone. Are you guys not insured?

What I’m stressing out is, maintain healthy check up routine when it’s not a peak hour. And come out with a better design to enable faster flow of traffic for those who have smart tag. I pay RM120 for that machine. If 1 customer=RM120. Then 10 customer= RM1,200. 100 customer = RM12,000. 1000 customer = RM120,000. I don’t think it’s a big amount for RnD. But at least it is something right? Jeez.

Pursuing

2010-08-31T12:43:00.002+08:00

It's independence day. It's a public holiday. Holiday is so boring when your to-do-list is empty. It's so meaningless.

I escape from home and to get connected to the internet world in cyber cafe.

When I was walking down from the place I lived in, I felt unhappy. I want to look for happiness. But then again, another book I read the other day says happiness always exist within ourself. It depends on how the way we think.

But I'm not happy. It reminds me of a scene in a movie called 'The Pursue Of Happiness'. Chris's wife, Linda is not happy with the life they've living. Chris failed to pay the rental every month. And She left the kids and Chris even yell at her saying, "you wanna get happy"?, "go get it linda". He was chasing away Linda because of her weak tolerance of the family situation.

It's just like me. Let's face it. We're dealing with money everyday. Whether it's enough or not enough. But for my case, I'm unlucky to be on the not enough side. I wont run away. But stay strong just like what Chris did in the movie.

"The Pursue Of Happiness" indeed was a very inspiring movie.

Motivation

2010-08-05T13:35:00.000+08:00

This blog needs a little bit of motivation to spark it up. Apparently life is filled with ups and downs just like what the bible says. So fear not, but dare to live. :)

Feelings

2010-07-18T10:01:00.004+08:00

I like her,
She seems to like me,
I think I'm ready for her,
But is she's the one for me?

Build up.

2010-07-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

I need to build up physically and spiritually. Seriously.

funny taste

2010-07-06T21:24:00.003+08:00

Sometimes our appetite spoil because of certain topic raise during dinner time.

Sometimes our appetite grow because of certain topic raise during dinner time

This time i accidentally swallow a whole piece of meat during dinner time.

It's because of my mum bring up my love issue during dinner time.

2010-07-05T21:42:00.002+08:00

My recent visit to my hometown is not wasted. One of my uncle harvest the pomelo and pass it to us. He told us that the tree was planted by my father.

I ask him to show us that tree. And I ask my younger brother to follow. Both of us are excited of knowing that my dad actually left something for us.

As we stood before the tree, my younger brother look up at it and said a proverbs. "前人种树，后人乘凉" (qián rén zhòng shù，hòu rén chéng liáng). I looked at my brother and praise him for his right usage of proverbs to describe. It is very meaningful.

前人种树，后人乘凉
qián rén zhòng shù，hòu rén chéng liáng

Translation: The past generation sow, and the next generation reap.

I take a slow walk around the village. And start having a deep about my dad's generation. I can only conclude that my youngest uncle is doing well and still expanding his business. The rest of the uncle? I have no comment.

I approach my youngest uncle after that. His tone of voice is always loud and people will always assume that he's arguing. He 'yell' at me. But i know he dont mean to pick up a fight. It's just the way he express his thoughts. The more inportant he think it is, the louder he will 'yell'. He told me about expending his business so that his next generation can carry on. It does not matter whether the business prosper or not when it fell on the next generations hand. The main point is, he has left enough for the next generation.

His message reflected on the proverbs my brother mention earlier on. It is truly important the previous generation plan ahead so that the next generation wont be suffering.

My grandma

2010-07-04T22:37:00.002+08:00

I receive a call from village informing me that grandma's condition is not good. She might not be able to make it for the next following months.

I drove my family up to visit my grandma today. I'm totally stunned when I saw her condition. She was lying down on the bed weakly. I quickly kneel in front of her and talk to her. She grab my hand and hold it tight. I could hear a soft and gentle voice coming out from her mouth. It seems like she's struggling hard to speak.

I asked her: "Grandma, do you know who am I?" She replied with a name but it wasn't my name. That's when my tears flowing down non stop. Suddenly I felt like an asshole. An asshole for not visiting my grandma for so long until she forget about me. I told her gently that I'm "seh kui". (my name in hokkien). She nod her head and repeat my name few times. My younger brother, "seh hong". She nodded her head and smile. That's when she asked: " where is "seh leng" (my elder brother)?" I'm so happy that she could still remember us! I'm amazed by her question. I explain the reason why my brother didnt come. But I promise her I will bring him to visit her.

The feeling of losing anyone is sucks. But it's a part of life. I realize, If she passed away, the young generation will learn. Her words, advise will shall not perish as she go. People will sit down and think deeply. That's the worst thing about human sometimes. They take things for granted and began to appreciate only when it's lost. I learned something after visit her. Her words might not form a proper sentence. But I know what she wanted to say.

At one moment, she reached her hand to her pocket and took out a bundle of money. She gently scrap out two piece of RM50 note from that bundle and pass it to me and my brother. I try to resist. But she seems active and insist we accept the money that she wanted to give us. Both of us cried. And she told us not to cried and be happy. Her smile is beautiful.

I thank her for bringing my dad into this world. I thank her for my presence. I thank her for taking care of me when I'm small. I thank her...non stop. She always ask me "ciak bah ber"? ( have u eaten?) when she sees me. But this time, I felt uneasy as she didnt ask me.

I told my brother, we gonna visit grandma next week. We gonna feed her. We gonna talk to her and make her smile as much as she can because her smile is beautiful. Really beautiful.

1,2,3

2010-06-29T23:03:00.003+08:00

Every morning, I generate thoughts of the conspiracy of the rich.

Why poor people remain poor?
Why average people remain average?
Why rich people remain rich?

A simple concept.

The poor will always spend above their means. People under this category got no savings.

The middle class will tend to spend averagely. People under this category got just enough savings.

The rich will spend below their means. They spend wisely. People under this category got more than just enough savings.

My conclusion,

The poor does not acquire any saving skill
The middle class acquire the saving skill. But didnt master it.
The rich acquire saving skill. And they master it.

Happy father's day

2010-06-20T02:06:00.003+08:00

Story of my Dad

Dad.....

Daddy......

Pa........

Papa......

These are the names we often call our dad. I called my dad, Papa.

My dad was the head of the family. Not anymore when he passed away. I still remember his voice. His smile. His scolding. His everything.

I remember I fetch you on a motorcycle without license. Although it's a short distance in kampung. But i never forget the moment you hold my waist. That was the moment I felt very proud. I knew the next thing I'm gonna do is to fetch you with car. But I fail.

I remember you summoned out Andy, Aaron and me to ask about our mathematics results? Aaron got qualified to represent his school to compete the Australian mathematics paper? Andy got qualified to represent his school to compete with other school? But I even fail the maths exams in school. I remember you told me that maths are important.

I remember the Digimon device you bought for me? I was filled with joy the moment I get it. And I lost it the next day. I lie to you when you asked me where is it. Sorry dad.

I remember you used to bring us to supermarket and ask us to grab as much as you can to fill the trolley. I remember the length of the resit. I remember everyone was looking at our both trolley that filled with grocery. It's like a mountain. After paying, you said: don't say I never feed you all.

I remember you spin the steering wheel left and right and singing 'uptown girl' by westlife? it was the first english song we introduce you. But you somehow forget the lyrics and only sing uptown girl.

Something happened..

I remember I hold your hands and walked you out from dialysis centre? You was so weak and tell us to not bother your sleep

I remember I used to buy drinks for you in the middle of the night just because you want it? I cycle to opposite my house. And get what you want.

I remember I have serious conversation with you one night about our family. I cried in front of you. But you kept quiet from the beginning until the end.

Things happened..........

I remember I was working when mum called me to inform me you passed away.

I remember I went to church on that day you passed away.

I remember it was a christmas eve.

I remember until now.

I visit you the next day. you were lying in the coffin with your eyes close. It was a sad sight for me. I remember Izzat, jimmy and seh ming were there.

I remember every single details of that event.

Papa, kor kor is 22 years old now. I'm 21 years old. And Ah hao is 15 years old. We miss you so much. We miss your presence. We want to give you something. We want to celebrate with you.

Happy fathers day Papa.
You are my hero.

And happy fathers day to all the fathers in the world.

The 10th plan

2010-06-17T21:09:00.002+08:00

Before the government announces the 10th malaysia plan, There are a lot of comment published in the internet already.

This 10th malaysia plan, I'm will study it and bring it as a discussion among my friends. I'm turning 21 years old this year. I want to practice my vote. I have the right to vote. And I have the right to know. I wanna know what is going on before I place a vote.

At the same time, I'm finalizing my draft project and going to bring it out to an association. It's my first time. And let's see how it goes. :)

Journal

2010-06-07T14:31:00.002+08:00

I decided to create a journal for myself. At least I can reflect my achievement against my past in the future. I think journal is important in everyone's life. It keeps track of how fast you run.

Circumstances

2010-05-25T12:09:00.001+08:00

If we cannot change when circumstances demand it,
How can we expect others to?

untitled

2010-05-24T18:55:00.001+08:00

I'm colorblind

Spot me

2010-05-24T13:49:00.003+08:00

My friend told me something shocking when I online yesterday. She told me she saw me in the newspaper. I asked her, sure? She replied: yes.

I quickly search the newspaper. Surprisingly, I found out one of our church member, jeremy ong was in the newspaper as well. Lucky him. I think he know about this. But I continue search for mine.

Finally, I found it!!

It was some survey that I took in youthsays.com regarding on social networking. I'm glad that my comment was selected! :)

Sad bird

2010-05-23T23:09:00.004+08:00

I walked out from the elevator. I notice an usual sight. A bird was flying towards me and off. I got shocked. I thought normally bird fly away when they see anyone. I thought nothing about it.

I forgot something in my car. I went down and collect it. And when I reached my floor, again..the bird was seen flying around me. Then It starts bother me that this was an unusual sight. Right after I place my stuff back home, I walk out again to search for the bird. It was seen resting on top of a fire alarm.

I walked near to it expecting it to fly. But it did not surprisingly. I took a chair out from my house. Place it under the fire alarm, I stood on the chair. Looking right in the bird eyes. I wish, I could read its mind. I wish I could communicate with it. I wish I could help it. I look at it for almost 1 minute. Then I conclude that this bird is sad. I reach my hands to it. I touched it. And it did not fly. But soon as I try to take it, It flew away from the grasp of my hand.

I was disappointed. But it didnt stop me from searching for it and looking for the reason why the bird end up in such way. Soon, I found out, the bird's nest has been destroyed.

It felt down on the floor
The original place of the nest

There are some repainting stuff going on in my condo and I think those worker must have destroy it for maybe the nest is blocking from them to paint the corner of the wall?

I wish, I could help the bird.

Dream vs money.

2010-05-18T23:03:00.003+08:00

I say:

By working towards your dreams, eventually you will create money.
By working towards money, eventually you will limit your dream.

Unique

2010-05-18T22:32:00.003+08:00

Just yesterday, a number of my friends told me that Air Asia is giving out free seats. They invite me to go abroad with them.

I remembered last year, Air Asia has given out the same promotion which they offer a million of free seats to various of country. And now, Air Asia is promoting the free seats now again. I dont travel much. And I havent experience with any Air Asia flight before. I only tried MAS flight for once, and it's a domestic flight.

Sometimes, I dislike this kinda of discount. It's packed. Cramped. I wish to have my own private space. I prefer a good travel environment. Of course it comes with a price which is a higher cost I need to bear. But I dont mind. At least I get what I want. Why save those few penny?

Sparks.

2010-05-16T21:16:00.005+08:00

Another day, Jon Chu invited to to a preview of a program conducted by his company, Sparks. What is this Sparks about you might wonder. Well, here is the leaflet that might explain their purpose. Sparks allows you to discover the creativity within yourself, discover your dreams and have a better directions in life.
The preview was held in a cruise. I was thrilled the moment I arrived there. The feeling is awesome. And the reason why they held in is because they want us to disconnect from the real world (for a moment). The concept is cool. I like it.

There are three session during the preview. Each session is meaningful and ends with happiness and satisfaction. One of the session, which require us to write all our dreams in a box. I wrote them down non stop. Not because I'm greedy. I'm just a big dreamer. Dreaming is free. So why not?
See that box sealed with the name of "Adrian"? It's my dreams inside there. MY DREAMS!!!!!!!! I use my name sticker as a seal. See, how sparks ignite the creativity side of me? After I did that, some of them saw it and follow. It shows that I have the power to influence because I have followers. :P

This box which filled with my dreams sleep next to me each day. One day I will re-open it and look at my accomplishment. No doubt, I wont be the guy that the trainer told in the story. The one who didnt complete most of his dream.

Frustration

2010-05-15T00:51:00.002+08:00

I get frustrated when my time is spend unwisely. Being stuck in a jam along federal highway is not fun. What more with the weather is not helping to cool down either.

I stuck in the jam, just like any motorist. I notice one damn common sight. It really piss me off. I told my brother, even managers in elsewhere are taking public transport. But in Malaysia, a promoter already started to drive to work. Is Malaysia a rich country compare to others? Not really. I think almost everyone owns a car. Almost every car I passed are only filled with ONE driver!

You see, Government plays a huge role in our life. They control the tax, they implemented new rules and others. But this traffic jam is just getting on my nerve but to blame no one but Government.

Government can contribute by helping a country's citizen to save. The Government can invest in public transport, infrastructure that is needed by the public and contribute to the economy.

Government can contribute by saving a country's citizen time. Providing an efficient public transport will save the hell out of many motorists user time that spend on traffic jam. They dont have to wake up early and stuck in the jam for at least an hour for a kick start in their work place. Trust me, it's definitely not a good way to start off their morning.

Government can contribute to environment. The car on the road dont produce fresh air, They consume the natural gas and release carbon dioxide. Is the world getting cooler or hotter? All I can see is the increasing number of cars on the road. I bought a car not because I'm rich but because I know I cant rely on public transport system.

With these three points, only three. Can you imagine how big will the impact be? more productivity, more money, more healthy and more. Aduh!

High fever

2010-05-09T16:50:00.004+08:00

I was hit by high fever on last friday. The day before my assignment due. I woke up and felt somethings wrong. I feel my forehead, indeed i was diagnose with fever.

It sucks knowing that you have an incomplete assignment waiting for you to do it. And the situation became more worst when the temperature of your body just keeps on increasing. I traveled down to hajok's place to complete my assignment because my house internet was down today. I dont blame maxis for it. In fact, I should thank them for not cutting my line even I didnt pay for almost 1 year. You heard me right, 1 year. The bill amount accumulated up to RM1+++ now. *another headache*

I immediately collapse after few hours of doing my assignment. I slept for three hours. And it does not make me feel better. But swallow the panadol that hajok gave me. Surprisingly at night after the dinner, I recover. That's when I'm so happy and shout it out on my facebook status.

The next day is the worst, the fever hits me back again. ^%$#! my whole body is so bloody hot. I could barely move. I tried, But my movement is just not stable enough. I skip my class although it's the first day of my new subject.

Couple of hours later, Eu jin and Daniel got back from college. They told me my fever heat was abnormal. But I dont think I'm able to walk to the car and make it to consult a doctor. My body is so weak. They told me to cover myself with blanket. Let me sweat. I hate that idea. But i know it works. The problem is, we are shock when I dont even sweat after I'm covered by two layers of blanket for 20 mins. Shit. They make something for me to drink. Something extremely hot in order to make sweat. They check on me like every minute. Whenever I open my eyes, I see them.

After few hours, the fever ease. And I took a slow drive home. A drive where I think everything is new on the road. It feels different to be back.

I really want to thank those who took care of me, hajok, eu jin, and daniel. Seriously. U guys were amazing. Thanks for being there for me. I truly appreciate that.

改变。

2010-05-06T18:54:00.002+08:00

成长不会带来改变，改变才会带来成长.

希望我这简单的句子能带来改变。

*Translate

Growth will not bring change, change will bring growth.

Hope this simple sentence will somehow bring change.

Judge

2010-05-06T11:36:00.006+08:00

What's on your mind when you view this picture? That guy is crazy? yes he is, but he might be not too.

I took a walk outside. I gaze at the streets. A street where filled with people walking pass every second. I look at them. No doubt each and every one is unique creature. I see lesbians, gays, couple, punk, so many genre of people. I used to judge them. But no more. I realize this world is so cruel. People judge without understanding. Have you ever heard of the saying says "dont judge a book by its cover"?.

Instead of judging, we must try to empathy them. put ourself in their shoes. Feel them, hear them and then only we judge. The behaviour of every human being on this planet are not weird, they are caused by an action. The nutrition says, "we are what we eat". What I think about human is, we are what we experience.

Different people have different family. They have different friends. Our growing process is not the same. Even a family produces 5 children have different attitude in every one of them. So who are we to say or judge about these people while we dont know them?

morning coversation

2010-05-03T13:58:00.005+08:00

In this morning, I just woke up because I forgot to deactivate the alarm I set yesterday. Sigh. I thought of greeting my mom.

Me: Hi mummy.
Mom: Oh hi, thank god u woke up.
Me: ?
Mom: The sink is leaking. Get someone to fix it.
Me: Aduh.
Mom: Eh, Andy said the air-cond is not working as well. Please check it.
Me: Aduh, tu la...on once in a blue moon.
Mom: Just check it.
Me: Eyes nearly close. *walking back to my room*
Mom: Eh, the floor is sticky. Please sweep it and mop it.
Me: *lying on bed*
Mom: Hey, remember to dry the clothes inside the washing machine.
Me: *Staring to fall asleep*.
Mom: Also remember..............*I dont know what she said anymore because her voice seems fading away as I slowly fall asleep*.

Jeeezz. Housework lagi. Take it as my exercise la. :)

mother's day

2010-04-22T20:51:00.001+08:00

Don't ever say I LOVE YOU to a girl when you can't even love the woman who loved you your whole life by doing simple things like washing the plates for her after she cooked dinner for you. Happy Mother's Day Ma!

"This shout out was posted by one of my friend, John Tan. His idea or views on life were never fail to amaze me."

I just google the actual mother's day and it apparently falls on 9th of May which is a Sunday. Wonderful. Should bring her out and celebrate it. :) Drop me a comment if you have any ideal place to celebrate.

Continue..

2010-04-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

This post is continue from my previous post from where I left out. There are two other things that men should delay. Right now I just remember.

The second one is, being poor. If u're poor now, it's ok. Give yourself a duration. Be realistic la. The city of Rome doesn't build in a day. At long you have goals, then strive hard to achieve it. You dont want to have the same financial problem when 2o years later.

The third one? hmm, it's career. dont delay your career. Do what you want to do. Sometimes, risk something. Life is not about being on the safe track. You'll be ordinary. Be brave, be strong to do what you want to do. You dont want to be filled with regrets 20 years later by looking at the stuff u didnt do.

Dont delay

2010-04-21T09:31:00.002+08:00

They said girl once set a five C criteria to choose a guy. Those C's are credit card, car, condominium, cash and career. And recently I start to think off why people never mention about what criteria that a boy set for choosing a girl? Maybe I never heard one before.

But, I ended up thinking that what every guy should do in their life. There are three things that every men should not delay in their life. The first is their family. While we were still at our golden age, we should be working hard and fulfill our parent needs. They dont call golden age for a reason for you to slack. You dont what to be able to fork up the money to sponsor them for a holiday trip when they're old, like 65? trust me, you dont want them to happen.

The second things that a guy should delay is.....okay. I forgotten what is that already. this is bad. Something stole my idea. It's the song that blasting out from my speaker. I should update it again once the content this topic surface back to my mind. Sorry to be potong steam. :S

Berkelah

2010-04-20T11:56:00.003+08:00

Aku nak berkelah. I want to go for a picnic. I wanna relax my mind. Watch the bird chirping, the different shape of clouds, makan, borak. Perhaps I should do it after exam. It's gonna be my first time!

Out of context

2010-04-19T13:11:00.002+08:00

I caught my brother visited a site everyday when I'm not around. I browse through the internet history. I cant believe what I saw. Those site are normally visited by adults. At least 18 above. I wonder why he did this. Where did he learn to even do this. Does the schools teach him or influence him to behave in such way? I dont really think so. Why did he visited Blooomberg everyday?

I could not ask for more.

2010-04-19T12:56:00.003+08:00

The song "I could not ask for more" by Edwin Mccain is so sweet that it bugs me to listen to it so desperately. I did that immediately once I got home. And guess what? someone sing along with me thru skype, with my new friend. Joy. haha.

"I Could Not Ask For More" (skype version)

Chatting here with you
Listening to your voice
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm awake
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are almost everything to me
These are the moments
I that God that skype exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

[Chorus]
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than to skype with you
Even though I got no webcam
But you still webcam with me
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you chat with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

[Chorus]

I could not ask for more than the time you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

Terrible

2010-04-17T23:35:00.003+08:00

Today, i visited the career fair that was held in mid valley. Before we enter, we were asked to filed up a form regarding our personal info. It sucks. I knew the form we filling up could be trade for money because of the data they obtain. I think many companies especially like survey company would like to buy our data to call us. The layout of the hall is just terrible. The line, the queue, the exit, it all sucks. I think I can do a better marketing plan for whoever that did this. Seriously. It's a waste of my time for going.

No point

2010-04-17T00:48:00.002+08:00

Sometimes trying your best to treat someone or everyone just doesnt mean you'll get appreciated. Seriously, it sucks.

I cant believe this.

2010-04-15T17:17:00.003+08:00

Just yesterday night, I perform my own financial statement again for fun. (it's not even the end of the month). I check my bank statement to find out my balance. I'm shocked to see such amount left. The total amount I have spend within this month already reached 2k. That's a lot. I trace by each transaction I've made. And surprisingly it's true. I really shit on myself this time. I need to replenish those money as soon as possible. Pc fair is taking place tomorrow at kl convention center. I'm working there too. Drop by to check out some gadgets and me so I can tell you which shop wont con your money.

Morning drama

2010-04-14T18:12:00.002+08:00

I woke up in hope, hoping that the rest of the day is gonna be good.

My mum walks into the living room, yelling to me why the clothes isnt fold. I explain to her, it's not my job. It's my younger brother's job. it's his duty. And he should be held for responsible for not completing it. It was a mistake when I said this. Seriously.

Immediately, a hiroshima bomb landed. I can see birds start to fly from the opposite tree that they used to chirp happily and resting before that. My mum scolded me for being calculative. I fought back saying : "It's not I dont want to do, If we keep doing this, your youngest son will never learn."

As usual, I told her that why is it everytime my fault when it comes to incomplete house work? Am i the black sheep in the family? Why I'm the one that always take account for all the blames?
It's unfair. It hurts me a lot especially it seems like no one recognize what I've done.

I realize one thing, we should really shut our mouth up when we are in anger. Once we feel the adrenaline starting to rush in our blood, that's a dangerous time to speak. I did not shut my mouth. But neither my mum. She raise a point where it comes to my attention. She complained that I dont give her allowance. This is bad, real bad. I've been working to support myself. And right now, she didnt even praise me for that but complain that I dont give her allowance. Maybe I'm wrong.

A voice within told me to stop. Stop from everything and take a walk. I walked in the park. And have a deep thought about it. Where have I've gone wrong? I pray. And one thing for sure I know now is, I'm good enough to support myself but I need to be BETTER to support my family too. I need more income.

Just after I pray, a job offer appear to me. Someone called me up and told me there are empty slots. :) I'm so happy. I felt that God is being so good to me. Just want to give Him all honor, all praise and glory. And hopefully, no more yelling. pls? :(

self destruct

2010-04-10T02:11:00.001+08:00

I have a feeling that if I keep up on what I'm doing, I'm eventually destroying myself.

Axis y and x

2010-04-07T18:56:00.005+08:00

Well, I've been thinking a lot in these few days. I reflected back my past and recall the memories that I've been through. I'm thinking about life. And my future. Life consisted of 4 simple letter. But it took a lifetime to define the meaning itself.

I'm turning 21 this year. This should be the turning point in my life. I'm a bit upset about my performance. 3 years ago, I attended an entrepreneur meeting filled with thousands of people. And right now I'm dont even attend anything. I fear, I doubt and afraid to try things. But I should stop doing that. Worrying is a waste of time. We should start focusing on moving on.

We all learn maths. We learn the axis y and x relationship. There will be a turning point in all our life. Below here is one of the example of axis y and x.

Axis y and x. X= goes left to right, Y=goes high or low.

By saying the turning point of life, it means the center of it. The Y meet X. The turning point of our life will be there and we are the one that determine whether the it will curve higher or lower. A little illustration of what I said.
If we deeply consider what we gonna do in the future, it would determine which line represent you the best. The one that keeps going up of course are the most successful one. And the one that didnt think will probably end up being average or poor. This is bad. Nothing wrong with being poor and average. But why experience it when you know you can do something to change it?

I want to climb to the top. I've been thinking about it. I should get moving. I should come up with a plan. This is what I'm suppose to do. And this is what everyone should do for the sake of a better future and a better quality of life for your current family and future family.

Think about it. It's never too late rather than never.

Back at one

2010-04-07T01:30:00.002+08:00

I didnt see this day coming. A day where I could walk and talk with my elder brother. We spend a great time together earlier on. We talked about our future, our plans, our family and the latest news. It feels so nice talking to my own brother. After all, he's my family member. Both of us walked down the city road, gazing at the gigantic building around the city and I told him, this is the turning point of our life. We should build a better quality lifestyle for our mum and our family.

I hope my brother will take care of the family. As for me, I hope I'm able to handle my younger brother. He's aggressive in anything. I fight with him most of the time. Physically and mentally. I want him to be strong in his mind and body. I provide anything for him but at the same time let him learn some lesson out of it. I'm happy to hear that he wants to start investing at his early age too. I'm proud of him. At least I dont want him to waste his teenager time.

I spoke to an investor today. I'm glad to have the opportunity to talk to him. He ask me to experience as much suffering experience as I could, because only from there I will not forget the suffering moment and work hard towards a luxurious life. It's true. If a person dont want to succeed in life, he can remain there suffering and blame whatever causes him to suffer. But a wise man will get rid of that situation and make sure he's out the nightmare.

Hmm, speaking back of family. My mum did a good job in tricking me to eat bread. I never like bread. But my mum fried it with egg with gives bread a whole new taste with I'm really enjoy when eating it. Also, I'm a forgetful person. I dont drink the soup that's boiled whole day for me. But my mum knew I was thirsty each time I got home, He pour the soup into a cup instead of a bowl because she knew I would know its a soup if I spot the bowl. I stepped in, I saw the cup, I thought it was water and I drank it. Then I realize, it was soup.

I love my family. That's all I need to say.